


Fraternizing and Spineless

by Phoenix_Is_Rising



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Attempted Kidnapping, Bullying, Canon-Typical Violence, Derogatory Language, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Forbidden Love, Manipulation, Mild Language, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Mutual Pining, Original Character Death(s), Slight Iruka x Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:15:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28745340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenix_Is_Rising/pseuds/Phoenix_Is_Rising
Summary: Kabuto has a fixation and you sometimes apologize to inanimate objects. Ever since one fateful day, you’ve been drawn to each other from opposite sides of the battlefield.
Relationships: Yakushi Kabuto & Reader, Yakushi Kabuto/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I found out recently that most people like really hate Kabuto? I don’t get it. Yeah he eventually becomes a snake-man but he’s so pretty??? Ugh, I’m about to go on a Kabuto series kick aren’t I?

The mission was ruined. You all felt it at your core and the glowers from your teammates made it clear whose fault they concluded it was. When you returned home, the very reason for your failed mission was there. Your apartment’s curtains blew by the breeze of the open window. Kabuto lounged on your bed. One arm stretched behind his head as he twirled a kunai around his finger. Your eyes widened, quickly closing the door. You rushed over to the bed to quickly draw the curtains, kneeling on the bed.

“Please, you can’t be here.” You whined in esaperation. “Not after what happened today.”

“Oh? I can’t visit the Leaf’s _sweetest_ kunoichi?”

Kabuto grabbed your sleeve and pulled you down onto him. You yelped as you crashed. He propped himself up against your pillow and chuckled to himself as you scrambled to sit up.

“It’s not funny! You sabotaged me today.”

“Aw, ‘sabotaged’. Look at you using big words.” He pinched your cheek, crooning mockingly. “Don’t worry your pretty little head. It’s all taken care of.”

“Wait, what’s that supposed to mean?”

But before he could answer, a pounding came from the other side of your door. You jumped, causing Kabuto to snicker. You shushed him as shouts of your name came through your door. You scurried up, pulling the rogue ninja up with you with slight resistance. Another shout accompanied aggressive knocking. Unceremoniously, you shoved Kabuto into your wardrobe.

“Stay here and stay quiet.” You pleaded. You shut the wardrobe just as your walls shook.

“I swear to _fuck_ , we know you’re in there!”

You ran to the entrance of your apartment and as soon as you undid the lock, the door swung open. You swiftly stepped to the side as your three teammates from the last mission stormed into your home.

“Your boyfriend’s in the bingo book. You know that right?” Your captain pushed past you. The team stood surrounding you in the middle of your small studio apartment.

“He’s not my _boyfriend_.” You stammered, stumbling back.

“Well, you certainly seem cozy enough with a traitor.” He turned to your other two teammates, sharing scowls among each other. “I put a word in with Hokage-sama, you know. You’re certainly not fit to serve.”

“What? No-” You tried to step forward but you were shoved back. You flinched as your back hit your wardrobe.

“Can you tell your _boy-toy_ a ‘good job’ for botching our mission?” One of your teammates grabbed your hair. Your hand shot up to her wrist, trying to deafen the dull pain on your scalp as she pulled. The door behind you creaked open just enough to feel on your back.

“C’mon, guys!” You stuttered. Your features contorted in helplessness and pain. “It’s not my fault!”

“Nothing’s ever your fault.” Your other teammate spat. He took a step forward, leaning with his forearm braced against the door of the wardrobe. The door closed shut. “‘Cause I know rogue ninja always come to my rescue.”

“I wouldn’t sell my country out to be a _piece of ass_.” The kunoichi gripping your hair pulled harder. You flushed red as you cried out.

You tried to deny their allegations, pleading to be let go and listened to, but your cries fell on deaf ears. The door opened ajar one again behind you. The kunoichi whipped your head around, causing you to tumble to the floor. Your head knocked against the wardrobe causing it to rattle. You looked up at your team as they scowled down upon you.

“Ahem.”

Attention turned to your window. The curtains were pulled aside just enough to allow the perch of one messenger ninja.

“Word from the Hokage.” The messenger announced. “The scroll was authentic after all. Congratulations. Your mission was a success.”

The three ninja in your home turned to each other and the messenger left just as suddenly as he arrived. You sheltered your head under arms as the team stepped around you. Wordlessly, they left. The front door slammed behind them causing you to jump, still curled up on the floor.

The wardrobe door creaked open. Kabuto stood looking pointedly at the entrance of your apartment, leaning against the frame of his hiding place. He frowned, glancing down at you as you unfurled. Kabuto stepped out of the darkness and leaned down. A hand came to gently caress the bump on your forehead. You flinched.

“Poor thing,” He tsked. Crouching down, his hands ignited to heal the bruise that was starting to form. “Why do you let them do this to you?”

“It’s not like I wanted them to.” You murmured.

Kabuto looked down at your forehead. His brows knitted together. He retracted his hand, studying the area under it but there was no bruise to be seen. Kabuto sat back on his knees. Even his expert medical ninjutsu wasn’t that fast.

You sat together on the floor. Kabuto looked straight into your eyes. You flushed and diverted your gaze. You gulped, the sensation of his stare lingering on your skin. Your lips parted before pursing again.

“Um… It was you that switched the scrolls, wasn’t it?”

“Who else would have, _dear_?” You saw his smirk out of your peripheral.

“Don’t call me that, please.” Your cheeks flushed red, lashes fluttering shut. “I thank you for earlier but us talking has to stop.”

“What? You don’t like the pet names I give you?”

“Eh… It uh-well, it has more to do with the fact that you’re a... wanted... criminal.” You nervously twiddled your thumbs almost afraid to finish your sentence. Kabuto scoffed, moving across the floor to sit next to you. He propped up a knee as he leaned back against your bed.

“Says who?” Your head snapped up, brows furrowed.

“The Leaf, of course.” Kabuto met your gaze and you looked away again, suddenly aware of your proximity. Your eyes widened and buried your head in your knees, letting out a groan. “And I’m fraternizing with the enemy.”

“‘Fraternizing with the enemy’,” Kabuto repeated with a chuckle. He tilted his head back against the side of your mattress, eyes still glued to your frame. “You don’t think I’m the enemy, do you, dear?”

You picked up your head slightly. Your cheeks squished against the forearms wrapped around your knees as you carefully considered his words. Your stream of thought was flooded. Conflict rose in your chest as you took a sharp exhale.

“No.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know what age I thought Kabuto was, but in Naruto he was still in his teens. And you know how old Iruka was in the original Naruto? 22. Like I really thought they were older for some reason.

You stared at the mackerel in the stand in the market. You gripped your basket, mentally sorting through the spices and herbs you bought. Your attention turned back to the fish. Their cold, dead, unblinking eyes bore into you and you couldn’t help but sigh. The merchant snapped impatiently in front of your face. Your eyes snapped up.

“Hey are you going to buy something or are you just going to block my stand all day?” He drummed his fingers on the edge of the ice-filled wooden boxes.

“Two mackerel please.” You squeaked out quickly.

The merchant let out an exaggerated huff, taking two sheets of a pile of yellow paper. You nearly flinched as he slammed the fish down. He wrapped the product up quickly though gruffly. You hurriedly fumbled to take out the owed ryō. The fisherman held out his hand and you hastily dropped the coins in his hands before scooping up your dinner for the night. He glared at you as if to tell you to leave quickly. You dropped the packages in your basket before scurrying away. Your hips knocked against the edge of his stand. An apology fell from your lips as the merchant glared. Too focused, on your fumble, you didn’t realize that you were talking right into someone else.

“Ah! I’m sorry!” You cried reflexively as you crashed. A few items came tumbling out of your basket. A pair of hands came to steady you as you stumbled. A jolly laugh filled your ear and you knew that laugh immediately. Your eyes widened as you stammered. “Iruka! I’m so sorry!” Iruka smiled warmly at you.

“It’s really not a big deal.” He glanced down at your fallen ingredients and bent down to pick them up. You snapped out of your shock, squatting down as well to return your purchases to your basket. The two of you resurfaced at the same time causing your foreheads to bump. You apologized again but Iruka’s expression didn’t change. “It’s a relief to see that nothing has changed.”

“Well, what about you?” You questioned with a nervous grin. “‘Mr. Academy Teacher’ over here. I can’t remember the last time we caught up.”

“Oh kids are kids. They drive you crazy but you can’t help but love them anyway. It’s the same old.” You gazed at his features with admiration. Iruka was two years ahead of you, but always treated you with more kindness than anyone else in the Leaf did. “What have you got going on tonight? Hot date?” You flushed deeply, sputtering over yourself.

“What? Uh-Where did, where did you get that?”

Iruka motioned to the two fish in your basket.

“Cooking for two tonight? Or perhaps more?” Iruka jested, tone still warm and friendly. A certain rogue ninja’s face flashed across your mind.

“Well you know me, I certainly eat for two!” You answered anxiously. Iruka furrowed his brow, glancing down to your stomach then back to your eyes. Terror contorted your features.

“No! I didn’t mean like-”

“I know what you meant.” Iruka snickered, pushing you playfully on the shoulder. “I’ll see you around, ‘kay? We should catch up sometime.”

You nodded, a bit dazed. Iruka passed you, his scent carried in his breeze. You ran your fingers over your shoulder, a flurry of butterflies flittered in your chest. You continued on home with a small smile on your lips.

When you stepped into your apartment, Kabuto was already there. You closed the door discreetly behind you. He sprawled out on your bed, seeming to have gotten into your bookshelf. Your shelf had been reorganized and a small pile teetered on your nightstand. You set your basket on your counter next to the sink.

You eyed your guest, expecting him to acknowledge you. You leaned forward, staring intently. Kabuto’s gaze stayed focused only on his, well, your book. You let out a small grunt from your throat which ended up sounding far more timid than you had intended.

“Yes?” Kabuto raised a brow, glancing at you quickly before flipped a page.

“I didn’t think you’d be around as often.” You danced with your words, too weak to be frank.

“Did you ask me to not be around?” Indifference and monotony lingered in Kabuto’s voice. He lounged against your pillow, lazily supporting the book with a bent knee.

“Well, no, but-”

“And you happened to buy double what you needed for dinner… again.”

You turned away. You had gotten into the habit of planning dinner for the two of you. Timid and people-pleasing, you felt guilty in the beginning for eating while he visited. You found it easier on your soul to make him a portion. And if he didn’t show, which seldom happened, he had a bento.

“Maybe I was hungry today.” You retorted softly. You weren’t a good liar.

Kabuto closed his book, finger marking his place between pages.

“Maybe,” He reiterated, swinging his legs to sit on the edge of your mattress. “But you got two whole mackerels. Not only is that quite a lot for one person, but mackerel happens to be my _favorite_.”

“I didn’t know it was your favorite.” _Lie._ Kabuto hummed, leaning back on your bed once again.

You slowly emptied your basket and the apartment went quiet save for the beeping of your gradually preheating oven. You dropped the subject because, for the most part, you knew you wouldn’t be able to lie your way out of the hole you had just started to dig for yourself. Kabuto ignoring your fib was a mercy and you were fully aware. You ran your fresh ingredients under running water, setting them aside on a cutting board.

The last items in your basket were the two wrapped mackerel. You peeled open the paper on both the small parcels. Once again, you were met face to face with wide, unblinking, dead eyes. You stared at them mentally trying to figure out how you’d tackle them. You had cleaned fish before, but only a few times with smaller ones. Despite not seeming to like you very much, the merchant definitely didn’t skimp you.

Instead, you turned your attention to the vegetables and other accoutrements from your basket. You focused on peeling, not noticing the presence coming up next to you. Kabuto came into your peripheral, staring down at the two fish as you had done.

“A knife, dear?” You looked up at him with a hum. The corners of his mouth upturned. “I doubt you’d want me to use a kunai on our dinner.”

Your mouth formed a circular shape as you fumbled for the right drawer. You plucked one out, presenting it to him by the handle, sharp side turned towards you. For a second, a shiver went up your neck as he inspected the knife. Part of you was very aware of the fact that he could kill you if he wanted to. The other part wasn’t worried. If he wanted to kill you, he would have already done so. The two sides battled for dominance in your mind.

He took it from your hand with a curt nod of thanks. Kabuto plucked up a cutting board and you resumed your kitchen duties. You laid the cut vegetables on a baking sheet. He made swift work of the fish and nodded in contentment at the several perfect, scored fillets that were left. Kabuto placed the discarded sections to the side. Perhaps you could make a nice soup with them.

Kabuto turned to you and watched as you seasoned the vegetables with care. He could have laughed at the view of you gingerly tucking rosemary among the cubes of potatoes, but he decided that you were too focused. Kabuto sprinkled a fair amount of salt onto both sides of the fillets before maneuvering over to you. You felt his chest against your back. His arms settled on both sides of the counter, caging you in as he peered over your shoulder.

“Are you going to read them a bedtime story?”

You stiffened in bashfulness, trying to ignore the lean muscle behind you. You gripped the sides of the pan. Kabuto pivoted with a chuckle as you whipped around to slide the sheet into the oven.

“Pans are under there.” You gulped, directing the rogue ninja towards one of the cabinets under the counter. Kabuto smirked with amusement, shaking his head slowly as he leaned down.

He ended up doing most of the actual cooking. You asked him repeatedly if you could help, only to be met with a hum and another shake of his head. You sat on the counter next to the stove, watching as he pan fried the fish.

“You don’t usually cook fish, do you?” He glanced at you quickly. With a flick of his wrist, he flipped the fillets.

“How did you know?” Kabuto snickers.

“Do you know how many portions you can get from one fish?” You glanced down at the cutting board.

“A lot, apparently.” An amused sigh escaped him.

“Eager to please…” He remarked with amusement.

“I’m apparently not very good at it.” You looked past him to a steaming pot of covered rice. You coughed.

“Sure you are.” You scoffed.

“Tell that to the rest of the village, won’t you?”

You leaned back against the cupboards, sucking on the inside of your cheek. You took in the view in front of you. A bingo-book ninja stood over your stove cooking you dinner. A pang of guilt shot through you. Did this make you a traitor? You shifted, crossing one leg over the other. It was just dinner, right? Nothing more?

“Plates?”

You blinked out of your thoughts and pulled open the cabinet next to your head. You placed the two plates on the counter as he removed the tray of vegetables from the oven. Kabuto plated the rice for the two of you while you moved the fish with the spatula. You jumped down from the counter, as Kabuto took both plates to your tiny table. You poured two glasses of red wine and sat down, handing him a glass and a pair of chopsticks. In exchange, he wordlessly offered you part of the daily paper. You raised a brow.

“You brought in my mail?” Kabuto nodded, a piece of fish between his utensils.

“We’re ninjas, it’s not too difficult to use a transformation jutsu… or pick the lock to your mailbox.” You made a sour face before shaking your head.

Dinner, like usual, remained quiet. Half way through, you swapped reading material. Scooping up a bit of everything on your plate, you nearly melted as the flavors hit your tongue. Your eyes traveled up to your date who was glued to his reading. Who knew Kabuto could be so... _domestic_?

A knock came at the door. You perked up, locking eyes with Kabuto. Another knock. Kabuto slowly rose, motioning with his head to get the door. You looked over at the entrance, but by the time you looked back, Kabuto had disappeared. Another knock. You padded over, undoing the lock.

Iruka stood in front of your door, hands in his pockets. You sucked in a breath, keeping the door just open enough to accommodate half your body. His eyes shone when he saw you and eagerly spoke your name.

“Iruka, what a surprise.” You hesitated. Iruka scratched the back of his head.

“Are you doing anything tonight?” A pause. He cleared his throat. “‘Cause a few of us were going to go to dinner together.” Your mouth went dry. Iruka looked at you expectantly. “And I didn’t know if you wanted to come.”

“Oh.” You leaned more on the door. Your mind went immediately to your fellow ninja. “I mean I would-”

“But you already have someone over?” Iruka stole a glance over your head into your apartment. He swiftly diverted his eyes, moving his hands to his back pockets. He didn’t want to snoop.

“No-no! Not at all!” You stammered. Your fingers drummed on the doorframe. “I just already ate so much!”

Not a full lie, but most definitely an excuse. A moment of silence overtook you, unsure what to say. Iruka looked kindly upon you.

“The others don’t _hate_ you, you know.” You let out a small laugh that ended up sounding more like a cough.

“Where are we with ‘strongly dislike’?”

“Some ninja are dumb and arrogant.” Iruka tilted his head. He rolled his eyes at the thought, face still kind. “I know they’ll love you as soon as they get to know you.”

“And see that I’m not a traitor, you mean?” The question came out in almost a whisper. Your lips formed a line. “I’m sorry, Iruka. That came out a bit blunt. I appreciate you inviting me but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea. Maybe next time.”

You couldn’t tell what emotion fell onto Iruka’s face, but you knew it made you feel guilty. Perhaps you shouldn’t have felt that way, but fear of disappointment wracked your system. But Iruka knew you well and offered you as much patience and kindness as you needed.

“I’m not going to pressure you. You don’t have to do anything until you’re ready. I’ll ask next time for sure.”

You nodded, apologized, and quickly closed the door. Latching the lock once again, your forehead met the cold, hard surface of the door. Your chest stung with indecision and tightened with anxiety. Another breath.

When you turned back to the interior of your apartment, your books were back where they were. Kabuto vanished and the only sign that he had been there was the paper which sat next to your empty plate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, at least I know how to make grilled and salted mackerel now. I had “Bad Little Boy” [Ashe Version] on repeat for this and honestly, not only does it set the tone, it’s a bop. Highly recommend. It’s the official anthem of this fic haha.


	3. Chapter 3

He told you that you didn’t have to go, in all sincerity. You looked into his deep brown eyes and sighed. He wouldn’t hold it against you if you decided you didn’t feel comfortable going, but you could feel the guilt already starting to creep up on you. And inwardly sighing, you knew exactly what you had to do.

“Yeah, of course I’ll go.” Iruka looked slightly taken aback. After all, it wasn’t too long ago since you had turned down his last invitation to go out, but this time was different.

“Are you sure?” He asked and your tired eyes met his, yielding.

“Yeah, I’m sure. What kind of friend would miss another friend’s birthday?” Iruka laughed nervously. You could tell from the expression he wore that he didn’t expect your answer. He reached up to scratch at the scruff of his neck. A few strands of hair fell from the back of his ponytail.

“You know I’m not trying to guilt trip you, you know?” He said, “I just didn’t want you to feel like I wasn’t including you.” You glanced down to the side before meeting his eyes again.

“Do you not want me to come?” You questioned softly, lips slightly puckered as your eyebrows wrinkled your forehead. Panic overtook Iruka as he looked into your wide eyes.

“No, no, no, no!” He waved his hands in front of his body defensively before one hand returned to the back of his head. “I just want to make sure that you’re comfortable, that’s all. And that you’re not feeling forced to go, ‘cause I know last time…” He trailed off. You bowed your head in understanding.

“I know what I said, but believe me, I’m happy to celebrate with you.” The corners of your lips tugged upward, subtly forced. “Besides, we keep saying how we never have a chance to catch up and how it’s been so long.” Iruka gave a slow nod, not completely convinced. You tried your best to give him a reassuring smile. “Really, it’ll be fine. I think it’ll be good for me.”

“If you say so.” Iruka let out a small laugh again. He had always been a nervous smiler. “I’ll see you there?”

“Sure thing.” You answered and both walked separate ways.

Once turned, you let a restrained shiver work its way down your spine. Anxiety followed you like a cloud hovering over your head. Not many people confronted you about the events that had happened a few months before, but you had also hardly left your apartment. You didn’t mind staying holed up inside with your extensive library, but now you were faced with what you feared most. You sighed, making your way up the steps of your building. You had no idea how you were going to handle this one.

Jiggling the knob of your modest studio, you were surprised to see that your stray cat of a companion wasn’t present. The window, per usual, remained open. You dropped your jacket on the small dining table before pulling open your wardrobe.

Of your options were neatly ironed uniforms lined up in an orderly line and practically nothing more. You looked down at the bottom. Work sanctioned shoes stared back at you. The room became a tinge darker. You closed the door, turning around to see Kabuto lounging on your bed. The comforter of your well made bed wrinkled under him. The curtains were drawn closed.

“I’m going out tonight.” You blurted. Kabuto blinked a few times, staring at you otherwise blankly.

“No hello?” He snorted. Your fingers interlaced in front of you and you nervously began to rock on your heels.

“I just wanted you to know, because I won’t be here to make dinner.”

Your voice jumped an octave, but you hardly noticed the shrillness of your voice. Kabuto’s face was untelling. He cocked his knee, resting his elbow against it as he leaned back. Your eyes darted to his eyes. You pursed your lips, diverting your attention to somewhere else in the room. He sighed, swinging his legs off of the bed and neatly placing his footwear next to your bedside table. Kabuto resumed his lounging position. You let out a breath, not noticing that you had been holding it. He reached down into the space where your bed met the wall and pulled out a book. A bookmark stuck out of the top, the piece of paper lodged quite a ways in.

Kabuto noticed your nervous staring.

“What?” He asked, eyebrows raised in a familiar amused but smug look. “You think I come here just for the free meal?” He cracked open his, well _your_ , novel. You stood in the middle of the room, still and tense, still unsure _generally_ of what you should be doing. Kabuto glanced up at you again. “Or is this about the shoes? Because I know you don’t like shoes on the bed and I knew you weren’t going to ask me-”

“I mean, uh, well…” As soon as his challenging eyes met yours, you promptly closed your mouth. Kabuto stuck a finger out at you, sitting up at the edge of your bed. You only stood a few feet away. His fingers held the pages of the book splayed open

“ _That._ ” He nearly spat. “That is what I’m talking about.”

“What?” The book closed with a thump. Kabuto propped a foot up on the side rail of your bed as he leaned forward.

“A little _nerve_ would look good on you.” A burning grew at the center of your forehead.

“That’s not very nice.” You murmured, thumbs twiddling. Kabuto frowned.

“Is it? I suppose helpfulness isn’t always nice.” You couldn’t find it within you to convey the ugly feeling in your chest. You turned back to your wardrobe. The door opened with a pop. Kabuto shifted on your bed behind you. “It would be easier for you to handle this passively, but that’s not going to work, dear. I know that’s what you were hoping for.” You gulped, a violent shiver wracked your system. While spoken with little tact, you should be listening to him.

“Please don’t call me that.” You didn’t dare to face him. Your eyes clenched closed.

“That’s a good start, but keep talking like that and you’ll get torn to shreds, _dear. _” You stood, hand on the frame of the closet.__

__A silence. You stood pretending to analyze your collection (or lack thereof) of clothes, but your stare went right through any item that came into your focus. You could feel the peering eyes on your neck. Kabuto took a certain amount of pleasure in being silently right._ _

__“I can tell that you don’t want me around right now, so I’ll leave you to your plans, m’kay Sweetheart?” You heard him climb through the window. “And, Dollface, just wear your uniform.”_ _

__The room lightened once again, leaving you alone and your made bed wrinkled._ _

__***_ _

__Kabuto settled into the den. Really, the hideout was more of a _lair_ rather than a _den_ , but Kabuto always hated calling it a _lair_. Such a descriptive word felt far too comically _evil_ for his personal tastes, so he opted for a different word. _Den.__ _

__Boredom plagued him as he aimlessly sorted through the lab, attempting to clear his mind with a bit of repetitive meniality. The workspace itself remained far from professional, but served as functional nonetheless. However, it’s dilettantish nature translated to more frequent upkeep. Kabuto wiped down the lab tables before refilling various jars of standard materials. By the time Orochimaru found him, Kabuto had almost finished cleaning all of the scalpels._ _

__“Your toy unavailable to play today?” Orochimaru teased. Kabuto only muttered in response, focus still on the scalpels. Orochimaru crossed his arms as he let out an amused sigh. “My, my, I haven’t seen you this upset since-”_ _

__“I’m not upset.” Kabuto quickly snapped, intently fixated on scratching blood stains out of the groves of the tool’s handle. Orochimaru clicked his tongue._ _

__“What? Playdate cancelled for today?” He came to sit on one of the lab tables. He leaned his head back against the sturdy fume hood and crossed his legs. A mischievous glint, normal for Orochimaru, gleaned in his eye. He smirked, biting back a laugh. “Have you met the parents yet?”_ _

__Kabuto huffed, carrying the scalpel holder back to it’s usual spot. Sliding the tray into the empty space, Kabuto sought out another task. Orochimaru leered, still expecting an answer. His surrogate son tried his best to concentrate on the maintenance of the stereomicroscope, but even Kabuto was not immune to Orochimaru’s eerie gaze. He huffed again._ _

__“No, I haven’t.” Kabuto admitted, finding it easier to play the game in hopes that the other scientist would leave. It never worked in the past, but Kabtuo’s state of distraction left him vulnerable. Careless._ _

__“And why’s that?” Orochimaru fully turned on the table, legs still crossed. Kabuto remained fixated on the stereomicroscope. His fingers danced delicately around the knobs._ _

__“Because she doesn’t have any.”_ _

__“Really? That’s awfully sad.” The Sannin mused, “No family?”_ _

__“Nope.”_ _

__“No one close to her?”_ _

__“Nope.”_ _

__“No one who would _miss her?_ ”_ _

__And in that moment, Kabuto knew that he screwed up. Royally. He didn’t have to look at Orochimaru to know that a wicked grin had overtaken his lips. Kabuto hung his head, exasperated by his own carelessness._ _

__“Not what I said.” He countered, attempting to return to his upkeep. Orochimaru drummed his fingers on the hard surface beneath him. “And I don’t like what you’re implying.” Orochimaru feigned disappointed shock._ _

__“What _sinister_ thing could _I_ possibly be implying?” Kabuto arched an eyebrow._ _

__“That’s funny, because I never mentioned anything about it being _sinister_.”_ _

__“Well, if she has no family and no one close to her-”_ _

__“She’s out with friends as we speak. Blood of the covenant, I don’t have to tell _you_ that Lord Orochimaru.” Kabuto looked up from his work, eyes squinted with a certain fierceness painted in them. This wasn’t missed by the Sannin, who quickly took a mental note of it. Orochimaru pouted._ _

__“I can’t meet your friends, Kabuto?” Kabuto tore himself away fully from the stereomicroscope, one finger flicking off the light with a snap. He studied his mentor carefully, an attempt at a prediction. He chose his words wisely._ _

__“We’re not friends.” Orochimaru appeared utterly delighted._ _

__“Then you wouldn’t mind bringing her here. I was simply fascinated the last time I saw her. Quite the interesting specimen if I do say so myself.”_ _

__“She’s not worth the materials we would use, Lord Orochimaru.” The Sannin hummed, coming down from his perch to lean against the counter next to his protégé. He grabbed his wrist, forcefully pinning it to the table. The skin around the grip had already begun to turn white._ _

__“I suppose that’s why you seek this little friend of yours out every day, hm? You are like a son to me, so I do you a favor and tell you this; I don’t appreciate liars, Kabuto. You know that.” Venom coursed through his voice. “ _One_ little act of what could be considered kindness and you’ve let this _low level Leaf thing_ leash and neuter you, my poor boy. Remember that _you_ were the one who wanted to be somebody. Don’t get _distracted_ now.” Kabuto scowled and pushed the equipment back into their spaces with his free hand._ _

__“This is less out of concern and more of your want to study the Leaf girl’s healing capabilities.” An accusation. The hand around Kabuto’s wrist tightened and Orochimaru let out a deep chuckle._ _

__“ _That’s funny,_ ” He reiterated mockingly, “Because _I never mentioned anything_ about her healing capabilities.” Kabuto tore his arm away._ _

__“I’ll be turning in, now.” He retreated, trying to think of ways to salvage what he could from his mistakes._ _


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m fully expecting to get messages in my inbox that range drastically in forcefulness. Perhaps a “how dare you” or two.

You stood outside of Shushu-ya, almost as if you expected to be told to come in. A silly notion. With a heavy sigh, you clenched the warped gift in your hands, starting to regret the shoes you wore among other things. But you know you couldn’t back out now. You couldn’t miss Iruka’s birthday. Your reluctant hand grasped the door and before you could chicken out, you heaved it open.

The group was easy to spot, even in Shushu-ya’s dim lighting. Everyone gathered around the bar. A few people sat in a large, open booth. The crowd made you nervous, but you couldn’t help but feel a semblance of relief. You weren’t the first one there. Iruka spotted you immediately and waved you over. You took a sharp inhale before forcing yourself across the restaurant with a smile. You were, at the very least, glad to see him.

Iruka got up from his spot at the end of the extensive, circular seating and greeted you warmly. Knowing him, he sat at the end just to see people come in the door. He extended his arms to you in a hug. You happily embraced him. It had been quite some time since you got to spend any quality time with your friend. You handed him his present.

“As usual, you’re always so thoughtful.” Iruka pursed his lips, a sentimental expression coming upon him. Even still, the corners of his lips turned upward into that classic Iruka grin. “You didn’t have to.”

“It’s your birthday, Iruka. Of course I’m going to get you something nice.”

Iruka motioned for you to sit down and carefully placed your gift in the pile he had accumulated. You took a seat among two ninjas who you only knew by name. Iruka sat down next to who you were fairly sure you recognized as Kakashi of the Sharingan. The mask made it difficult to tell. You took your place next to Might Guy, the Leaf’s Green, Taijutsu Beast. You looked over to Iruka and wondered how he made such powerful friends. You supposed it was hard to not be acquainted with any famous shinobi in Konoha. Perhaps that’s what happened when you weren’t afraid to talk to people. You spied a few more of your colleagues around the bar, including your teammates from the last mission you took. They didn’t seem particularly pleased about your presence, but no one was going to impulsively make a fuss in front of Iruka.

You kept your head down and that’s where it stayed. The conversation went, for the most part, without you. You ordered a water quietly. You weren’t the type to drink, especially when you were as on edge as you were in this particular setting. The waiter set down your glass, making a sort of a sour face. You stared at the clear liquid, supposing that not many ordered water from a bar.

“That’s all you’re going to get?” You looked up into Kakashi’s intense eye. “You know you’re not on the clock, right?” He chuckled and you nervously laughed with him.

“Don’t listen to him.” Iruka rolled his eyes before taking a sip of his own drink. His kind gaze found yours. “You can do whatever you want, just know that the tab is already taken care of.” He looked past you and waved towards the bar. The bartender waved back.

“No, no. I completely understand!” Guy wrapped an arm around you, holding you a bit too close for the volume of his voice. You immediately let go of your drink. Your eyes went wide as he shook you with every word. “You gotta watch out for that hangover! Very smart! I commend you!” Kakashi tsked, tilting his head towards Iruka.

“Such a bad host, letting her sit next to Guy like that.” Iruka laughed sheepishly.

“Sorry,” He scratched at the back of his neck. “I guess the seat was open for a reason.” Guy pouted at the discourse across the table, arm still wrapped around your shoulder.

“Nonsense! Tease me all you like but I just know that… uh…” He turned to you with an outstretched hand and as much embarrassment as Might Guy was capable of. “What was your name again?” You took his much larger hand in yours and spoke your name, realizing that you hadn’t prior. He immediately shouted your name as if to commit it to memory, shaking you even harder than before. His shout got the attention of the rest of the booth and you suddenly your self consciousness skyrocketed. “—and we’re going to be best friends by the time the night is over! What do you think? You down for a party?” And suddenly you were expected to respond. You glanced around nervously.

“Um, yeah. Sure thing… I just think it’s really nice how everyone’s together.” Despite your response, you still felt like a bug under a magnifying glass. Sweat began to bead on your brow and your palms. You crossed your legs. “I feel like everyone’s always on missions so it’s nice to be among friends. And um, I can drink to that.” You glanced around the table once more, to Guy, to Kakashi, and then Iruka. Iruka’s eyes fluttered shut.

“I couldn’t say it better myself.” You raised your water weakly.

“Happy Birthday, Iruka.” Iruka raised his glass of sake and a roar went around the booth and extended to the bar. Someone hastily ordered a round of shots for the whole group. They came quickly, likely due to whatever likely large tip Iruka gave to the bartender.

One slid across the hard surface over to you. You gripped it between your fingers. The alcohol went down your throat with a steady burn. You let out a gasp with a bat of your eyes. The aftertaste of the ethanol burned your nasal cavity. Kakashi let out a deep laugh. Guy patted you hard on the back causing you to cough. Iruka smiled, ordering another round. You took another shot. People filtered in the door. And as the night went on, the three of you took to greeting Iruka’s guests along with him. The party crew quickly overtook the bar. A dull roar overtook Shushu-ya.

More words spilled from your mouth than you thought ever would in one sitting. Your three colleagues listened to you intently, jovially, and exchanged stories of their own. A small crowd gathered around your booth, members flitting from the bar and back. And for once in your life, people actually listened to you. You told your stories animatedly, waving your hands in emphasis. You took in the smiles around you, tales of missions and edgy impressions flying from your lips. Distracted, you hardly noticed the looks exchanged by your old teammates as they leaned against the low back of the booth.

“And I said, ‘You don’t need a rag, you need a towel’!” All those gathered around you burst out in hysterics. You felt the low rumble of Guy next to you. Iruka couldn’t pick his head up from the table. Kakashi yanked him up by his collar, revealing Iruka’s red, cackling expression. Kakashi snorted, dropping the cloth under his hand to cover his own face as he mocked his longtime friend. Joyful tears were still welled in your eyes when a slender hand clamped onto your shoulder.

You looked behind you only to become face to face with the kunoichi from your team. Her ever prevalent scowl remained plastered to her lips but they swiftly upturned into a sickly sweet smile.

“Hey, why don’t you tell everyone about our last mission? Or should I say, your last mission.” Your eyes widened and a chill coursed down your spine, remembering her unforgiving grasp on your hair following your meeting with the Hokage. You clenched your fists underneath the table, balling up the fabric of your clothing. _What did she want from you?_ She crinkled her nose at you smugly. “Shy all of the sudden? That’s okay, I can tell it.” You heard Kakashi clap his hands together. You jumped.

“I’m always down for a good mission story,” He admitted eagerly. You shook your head vigorously.

“No, this one’s not very interest—” Another hard slap on your shoulder. Her nails dug into your shoulder.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit. I think they’ll all find this very interesting.” The kunoichi settled into her spot behind you, shifting her weight as she leaned forward. With a finger, she pointed out your two other team members. “See we were assigned with this one to find a scroll in a territory suspected of being owned by Orochimaru. ‘Cause she’s a wonder at blending in, right? That’s what we were told. And of course you know how these things go. Of course we find someone. Some bitch of Orochimaru—”

And as she described it, you could remember the scene vividly. Your teammates were reckless in their fighting and overall poor choices for a stealth mission. Flashy jutsu corrupted the frame of the underground system. The walls began to crack and shake. Your enemy had been caught off guard and outnumbered. Seeming to be already injured, there was only so much he could do to fight back. That was how you met Kabuto Yakushi.

“And so she doesn’t even warn us that the tunnel is, like, about to collapse. Some freak earthquake or something. So the enemy is knocked out cold and we’re running and running to try to find a way out and—”

You dove towards him. You didn’t know what drew you towards him in the first place but that’s what you did. As your team left without you, you tried your best to save the young ninja who had to only be as old as you. You tried to drag him but either you were too frail or he was too heavy. Your second option. Your hands ignited in healing jutsu, flickering on and off. You were by no means a healer, but your only thought in your panic was to get him awake. And as the maze of tunnels imploded around you, your world went black.

“So we don’t see her for days. You know, we think she’s dead. So in the meantime, we check out the other places on our list. Nada. We’re about to completely give up and then, wouldn’t you know, this one shows up having spent almost a week in enemy territory holding the exact thing we were looking for. Zero scratches and she apparently ‘doesn’t remember’ anything about it. Don’t you think that’s funny?” The kunoichi motions to your other teammates.

“I remember it being very funny,” One huffs, arms crossed. The small surrounding crown had gone silent. You dared to look across the table. Kakashi sat with his arms on the table, wordless. Iruka pursed his lips, equally expressionless. He cleared his throat. An awkward overtone laced the atmosphere.

“Well I think that’s enough of that—”

“Well, I wasn’t done. Almost there, though, I promise.” The kunoichi held up her hand. “‘Cause wouldn’t you know it? When we got back to the village, we found out that the scroll was a fake.”

“Well,” You squeaked, “Later we did find out that it was authentic after all—”

“But that was later,” She snapped. She ruffled your hair roughly, giving your head a slight push as she finally took her hands off of you. “Still doesn’t explain where you got it from.” She leaned in towards your ear. “Traitor.”

“Okay that’s enough.” Iruka stood from his seat. He extended his arm towards the door. “You three have clearly had too much to drink. I think it’s time for you to go home.” The kunoichi scoffed.

“We haven’t had too much of anything,” She snorted with a roll of her eyes and opened her mouth to say more. Guy turned with the most serious expression you had seen from him all night.

“He’s giving you an out. I suggest you take it.” He told her and apparently, that’s all it took for them to leave.

Iruka apologized for your team’s behavior but said nothing more about it for the rest of your time present. Most of the partygoers stuck to the bar now. Everything was off and you knew it would be as long as you were there. Your friends could hardly look you in the eye properly. You remained for a little while longer, starting to feel dreadfully sober. And when you thought you wouldn’t draw too much attention, you announced that you were leaving.

“Let me walk you out.” Guilt rattled around in your chest. It was Iruka’s birthday and you ruined it, just like you thought you would. And yet, he still offered to walk you out.

You allowed it, suddenly finding yourself standing outside of Shushu-ya, Iruka by your side. Even as the door closed behind you, you could hear the sound of Konoha’s nightlife. You waited for Iruka to speak, but the weight on your shoulders became unbearable.

“I’m not leaving because of you, you know. I had a good time. I really did, so go back in there and know that, okay?” You tried to read his face. He looked conflicted and the pounding of your heart only increased.

“I just want you to know that you have a friend. Eh, _friends_. No matter what.” You blinked at him a few times. You didn’t like how he said that last part.

“No matter what?” You let out a nervous laugh for the umpteenth time that night. Your eyes wandered erratically. “What do you mean by that?” You were expecting some reassurance, but none came. Your mind filled in the blanks. You took a step back. He took a step forward. “ _No matter if I sold out the Leaf?_ Is that what you’re telling me?”

“I-I didn’t say that.” He stammered. Suddenly frantic. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“Well, you’re not denying it.” You gripped onto your strap bag. Another step back. Another step forward.

“I don’t think you sold out the Leaf. Not on purpose.” The tail end of that sentence stung. You began to tremble. Another person who thought that you were a traitor. “Listen, I had a student once. He’s out of the Academy now but he was in your shoes once.” You couldn’t look at him. You focused on your shoes, the shoes you’ve regretted wearing. “I know how guys like that are. I know how manipulative they can be, how they can convince you into doing something that you know you don’t want to do.” Your head snapped up.

“I didn’t do anything wrong. I wasn’t convinced to do anything wrong by anyone.”

“I know how kind you are. I know that you had a good heart. No one’s going to blame you if someone took advantage of that. I don’t care what happened. We’ve known each other forever. I’ll always be here for you.” Iruka gently placed his hands on your shoulders and his forehead against yours. You became cognisant of how violently you quaked. You didn’t even register his confession. The sharp burning between your eyes threatened to spill over into tears.

“Iruka, please stop. Just tell me that you believe me.” You gripped onto his forearm, wanting to feel a semblance of comfort. “I’m not a traitor.”

“I do believe you.” Unconvincing. You looked into his eyes, salty droplets now silently streaming down your cheeks.

“I didn’t do anything wrong.” Iruka nodded against you without a word. A beat. You gulped. “And Kabuto didn’t either.”

He pulled away, trying to fight a frown from crossing his face. You could see it. The realization morphing his features. Iruka tried his best not to show any of his mixed emotions, but he was always one to wear his heart on his sleeve. The corners of his mouth twitched.

“Who? The bingo book ninja?” He shoved a hand in his pocket. He always did that when he was nervous. “No, I’m sure he didn’t. D-didn't do anything wrong.” Once again, unconvincing.

“I’m sorry, I don’t feel well. Please, uh, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” You didn’t look back. You ran home.

***

When you got to your apartment, you dropped to the floor. You scrambled for a kunai to pry open the floorboard. Throwing the plank aside, you plucked out the scroll. Unraveling it, you bit your finger, smearing your blood across the summoning symbol.

You were already starting to scurry off when Kabuto appeared. You walked right through the white cloud of smoke. He felt troubled, but that wasn’t something you picked up on. Kabuto immediately pulled out a scalpel in defense, ready for an emergency fight. You didn’t even tell him to lower his weapon. You didn’t blink twice. You stormed straight to your wardrobe, yanking out a large travel bag.

“What’s going on? I thought you were going out tonight.” Kabuto asked, but you ignored him, stuffing belongings inside the bag. You skittered frantically around the room, pulling sentimental belongings from your drawers and off your shelves. Kabuto looked on helplessly as you muttered to yourself. He could hardly catch you with how erratically you darted around your small living space. With enough calculation, he caught you, grabbing you by your wrists. You struggled against him. “Hey, hey, hey slow down. Tell me what happened.”

You looked up at him, rivulets still flowing from your eyes.

“Please, Kabuto,” You begged. “Let’s run away together.”

His immediate response was to let go of you, stumbling a bit backwards.

“What?” His mouth went dry.

“I—” You couldn’t even get your thoughts straight. You just spoke, everything spilling out of you. —“Please take me away from here.” Ever-suave, Kabuto found himself panicked.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m your enemy. I’ve _killed a lot of people_ —” You met his eyes, but in your haze you missed all that they told. You saw complete and utter rejection.

“Aren’t you the one who always tells me that you’re not my enemy? _You’re all I have._ ” Betrayal. If Kabuto could name the expression that washed over your face that would be it. You wiped the wetness from your skin with your sleeve. “Please, you know I would be quiet. You could have any of my books. I don’t even care about shoes on my bed. I don’t even need a bed just please let’s go right now!”

And for all of his big talk, Kabuto was at a loss. He wanted to. More than anything he wanted to scoop you off of your feet then and there, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t an option. He couldn’t bring you to Orochimaru. You were supposed to be here in the Leaf. You belonged here in the Leaf. This was where you could be happiest, not on the run with him. He’s caused enough damage to your life.

“I can’t.” That was all he managed to make out without his voice cracking. And as he looked into your large, wet eyes, his heart shattered.

“You can’t or you won’t?”

“I-I can’t. I—” He kicked himself. —“You’ll be happier here.”

“I’ll be happier with you,” You pleaded. You balled up your hands in the front of his shirt. “Please, I love you.” Kabuto diverted his eyes from yours, clenching them shut.

“No, you don’t.” He placed his hands over yours, gingerly trying to remove you from him but you stood firm. “You’re drunk. I’m sure that if you go to bed you’ll feel better in the morning.”

“I’m not drunk!” You argued, getting even more desperate than you already were. “You told me to gather up some nerve so here it is! I love you! Please let’s go, just you and me. We can start over—” And with a few quick hand signs, you fell asleep.

Kabuto’s hand hovered over your forehead. He could see your fear, feel it too. He caught you as you began to collapse and brought you over to the bed. Knowing your recovery speed, the jutsu wouldn’t last for long. Perhaps it would last a half hour, maybe less. Anyone else and he would have expected them to be out for the rest of the night. He covered you with your blanket and sat at the edge of the bed, ready to recast his spell when you began to come to for the rest of the night. He knew that if you kept talking, he would have done exactly what you asked. Kabuto buried his head in his hands and uncharacteristically, for the first time in years, began to sob.


	5. Chapter 5

_If you’re dissatisfied with what you’ve had in the past, you can just find other things and just add them to yourself from here on out._

Kabuto never had much to begin with, nothing he could truly call his. And even then, they were, for the most part, gifts. His glasses were a gift. His first name was a gift as was his last name. Much like an equation, Kabuto could always simply add and he always knew some semblance of the outcome.

But now there was you and Kabuto once again found himself unsure. He remained on the very edge of your bed all night, almost afraid to sit comfortably. He shook his leg anxiously, wired by the lack of sleep. Kabuto plus you. He didn’t know the answer. To add you meant to subtract other things. He had gotten used to those other things. And now, he was unsure if they even fit in the first place. Kabuto thought that maybe by the time morning came he would know, but dawn was just beginning to break. And much to his dismay, he found himself just as unsure as when night enveloped the sky.

 _You loved him._ No one had ever told Kabuto that in his life. _You loved him_ , and for _what_? He didn’t think he did a lot for you. He lounged on your furniture. He read your books and liked to make you flustered. Kabuto dared to gaze down at your unconscious form. His hand ghosted the outline of yours underneath the covers. He bit his lip. He liked being here. He liked to read with you. He loved your smile when you cooked together, when you read the comic section of the paper, when you stayed up late to talk… But was a life with you something he deserved? He didn’t think so.

You began to stir. Kabuto weaved a few hand signs. He didn’t even look as his palm made careful, yet swift, contact with your forehead. He couldn’t. Kabuto buried his face in his hands. He bought just a bit more time to think. Just a bit more time. _Just a bit more time._

And by the time you woke up, you woke up with a start. You jumped, gasping as the blanket flew off of you. You glanced wildly around the room. Kabuto was nowhere to be found. Your heart beat rapidly in your chest. Kabuto had been wrong. The morning was here and you didn’t feel better.

***

You had plenty of time in your career as a ninja to properly map out the Hokage building. But even still, you never did and found yourself, per usual, lost. The halls looked the same for the most part. The rooms still went by the same number system used back with the first Hokage. And really, you didn’t have the mental energy to figure it out, not today. Despite the amount of alcohol you had last night, you could remember what happened vividly. Iruka, the good time you had, your teammates, and the burning humiliation. Kabuto. You wouldn’t have been here if you could help it.

You let out a sigh of relief halfway up the stairs as you spotted the sign at the top. You were almost on the right floor. Swinging open the door with a heave, you were met with the administrative assistant. You followed the curve of the hallway with your eyes. You could see the door to the Hokage’s door. The administrative assistant paid you little to no mind, sitting quietly behind his large, cluttered desk. You approached, tense.

“Hi, uh, I’ve been summoned?” You peeped. He didn’t look up from his work. You opened your mouth, then closed it. More silence. You tried again “I was summoned by L—” His head snapped up in annoyance and rolled his eyes.

“Name?” He asked forcefully, lugging a large book out from underneath a stack of others. You told him your name quietly and anxiously. The assistant stopped and let out a vexed grunt. You stood completely still, tense. You folded your hands neatly in front of you. He slammed the book back on the pile he got it from, causing you to jump, and instead began to rifle through one of his drawers.

“This is for you.” He held a small envelope to you. You stared for a second at the small rectangle confused before the assistant began to shake it. You apparently did not take the document quickly enough. The assistant turned straight back to his work. Confused, you opened the letter. You scanned the page, eyes widening in shock as you glanced up.

“Under investigation?” You gasped, the notice shaking in your hands. “A-And I’m suspended? For how long?” As if you didn’t have enough to deal with today.

“I don’t know, okay?” The assistant huffed. “All I know is that you’re not seeing the Hokage today.”

You had so many questions, but knowing that none of them were going to be answered, you left. And as you departed from the Hokage building, you were completely unaware that you were being stalked from the shadows.

***

Kabuto was running on fumes. Too wired to sleep, too tired to think. He felt the need to do something, so once again, he found himself in the lab. But after looking over his selection of possible specimens to study, Kabuto quickly decided that creating plans for experiments required much more effort than he had in him. He turned to cleaning and reorganization, a simple and mindless task. He had already made his way from the main laboratory to a few minor storage closets to yet more old exam rooms. Kabuto always took pride in a clean workspace, though Orochimaru had never been as dedicated.

Once again, his thoughts returned to you and he restrained himself from physically hitting his head against the nearest hard surface. He adjusted the gloves on his hands and picked up a labeled bin. Kabuto couldn’t help but wonder about what you were doing right now or if you had forgiven him. He knew perfectly well from day one that he had grown completely attached, but never had he expected for things to turn out like this. Kabuto stacked the bin with a few others in a corner of the extensive space. He leaned against the wall with a sigh, silently defying his better judgement by asking himself if you were truly happy in the Leaf. Helplessness washed over him. Yet another thing he didn’t know. He hated that feeling.

Kabuto slammed his fist against the wall next to him and a hollow reverberation echoed through the room. He blinked at the space under his wrist, giving it another strike. He turned to fully face the panel, hands spread across the cold surface. Kabuto tapped at it, shifting to his left and right to find where his tapping felt solid and where it felt empty. But with a few hand signs in the right spot, the wall disappeared to reveal a small back room.

Kabuto wandered in, kunai drawn. In the center of the room sat a lone examination table, straps sewn to the sides. Papers lay strewn around. A few vials were randomly shoved onto makeshift shelves. A chakra test kit sat at the foot of the table. Kabuto spotted a file under the single lamp that swung from the bare ceiling. Flicking it open, he found what he dreaded most. He felt a presence at the doorway. Kabuto’s shoulders dropped.

“I thought we weren’t going to pursue the girl.” He tried to make his voice as emotionless as he could. Anyone else and he would have been convincing.

“I put a lot of effort into safeguarding this room, you know.” Kabuto scoffed.

“Well, what can I say, Lord Orochimaru, you taught me well.” He turned to face the Sanin. Orochimaru stood, leaning against the doorframe. “I must say that I’m surprised. There never has been a whole lot you’ve kept from me.”

“Sure there has,” Orochimaru laughed, a certain amount of bite in his tone. “And you’ve been far too invested. I had to take things into my own hands.”

A pause. Kabuto stared at his mentor and a life changing choice stared back. All of his previous thoughts confronted him at once and he quickly came to a realization. He was out of time. For the whole day he had been putting off his decision by staying up all night, by avoiding strenuous work. But now, he stared the embodiment of his questions in the face.

“She’s protected in the village and well loved,” A lie, but one Kabuto tried his best to convince himself of. “She wouldn’t be an interesting test subject anyway.” Orochimaru frowned, eyes half lidded.

“Kabuto, your girlfriend leveled the entire eastside base.”

Kabuto _did_ remember. He remembered the ambush at the base. How regretfully your team of Leaf shinobi had gotten the better of him. He remembered waking up without a scratch in a mile-wide crater, your body half flung over his torso. The underground base had been completely excavated and decimated to smithereens. The laboratories were gone. The many rooms and hallways were gone. All that remained were the two of you. And that’s how Kabuto Yakushi met you.

“She gave you what you wanted in exchange for the scroll.” The kunai in his hand hung by the loop on his finger, but not put away. He methodically fiddled with it’s handle.

“A few tests for a fake scroll is a measly trade,” Orochimaru rolled his eyes, though the mischief in them wasn’t lost. “Nothing I did warranted what you gave her.”

“I just gave her what you promised.” Kabuto narrowed his eyes, “So why does it look like you’re going to perform an extraction? She’s not even here.”

“And that, Kabuto, is where you’re wrong.”

***

You took your usual shortcut home. You could always tell how close you were by the number of trees. The Hokage building had always been around the epicenter of all the bustle in Konoha, and for good reason. But most of the time, you enjoyed a break from the intensity of ninja life and settle into your apartment near the outskirts of town. You cut through a thick patch of trees. A trail had been beaten into the ground long ago. The area felt like a park and served to remind you of the scenery just outside of the village. But you couldn’t enjoy your walk this time. You sensed a presence.

You began to walk faster and that was when four figures jumped out at you from the treetops. Their hitai-ate gleamed in the interrupted lighting. Sound ninja. You immediately disappeared, a jutsu you no longer needed hand signs for, and camouflaged into the scenery around you. But despite your fast-moving efforts, you were still grabbed and thrown to the ground. Your fragile jutsu broke, but you scrambled up quickly, kunai in hand. You turned on your heel, lowered in a defensive position.

“Please go away,” You nearly whimpered, “I’ve had such a rough week. Try again next week!” You argued as if that mattered to your band of attackers.

“Lord Orochimaru has explicitly expressed that we are not to leave without you.” As the words left his lips, you couldn’t help but wonder if this had been Kabuto’s doing. Though, if he had wanted to abduct you, he could have done so last night and perhaps that wouldn’t have been so bad. But you didn’t have enough time to wonder. Out of the corner of your eye you saw a volley of projectiles. You leaped to the ground, arms coming to wrap over your head.

An uproar above you. Weapons clashing and pained cries. Your head stayed down. And as the bodies of your old problem hit the ground, you heard the voice of your new problem.

“I knew you were a traitor.”

***

Kabuto refrained from gritting his teeth.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Orochimaru only smirked smugly.

“A healing chakra that can pack the power of lightning and you wonder what we can do with that?” The Sannin shrugged. “We don’t know if it’s a kekkei genkai. Perhaps a new breed of ninja but that kind of power could do many things. One could even say—” He met Kabuto’s eyes, antagonism built up and glittering in his own, —“that power could restart a heart. With enough control, that is.” Kabuto moved forward to walk back out through the doorway, but Orochimaru blocked his path.

“What is it, Lord Orochimaru?” He asked with as much restraint he could muster.

“You’re not planning to go to her are you? She’ll be here any minute.” Kabuto hesitated and for once told a most vulnerable truth.

“I really don’t know what I’m going to do.” And he was allowed to pass.

***

“Thank you for saving me!” You scrambled up to your feet, eyes wide and on the fallen bodies of your attackers. But before any of the situation could process you heard a shout of warning.

“Don’t you come any closer, Sound ninja bitch!” The kunoichi from your team stood in front of you, weapon pointed in your direction. Your head turned towards her, confused and surprised.

“What?”

“I said don’t come any closer!” You held your hands up, truly not wanting any trouble. The patch of forest didn’t dare to make a sound and neither did you. Your teammate circled you, coming closer with every circulation. Her stance never faltered. “I knew you were a lying rat from the very beginning. We all did.”

“I think there’s been a misun—”

“Keep your _fucking hands up!_ ” You listened, spreading your palms to the air. Your neck scrunched downward into your collar as you flinched. “You’re pretty fucking dumb to meet with your buddies in the open like this, even if you are close to village limits.” You kept your lips folded in a thin line. The kunoichi snarled at you. “Pick up your kunai.”

“I’m not going to fight you,” You expressed with a certain amount of reluctance and your response only served to further anger her. She sheathed her weapon and shoved you to the ground.

“What? You think you’re _better than me_ , you sellout?” She grabbed your hair, forcing you to meet her eye. Her hand crossed right across your cheek, the sting prickling on your skin. Even so, you refused to fight a comrade. “When the others get here we’re going to take care of you—” She continued to whale on you with her fists. Your nose began to bleed. —“And we’re going to take care of that boytoy of yours too!”

And as you bled, all you could mewl was, “Please stop.” You felt a warmth spreading over your face and an uncomfortable mending. The kunoichi stared down in disgust from her vantage over you. A blue aura spread across your skin, not of your own control.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” She landed another blow to your face, her fist coming in direct contact with the blue air. A spark of chakra and she recoiled her hand with a growl. “You think you’re going to shock me? You think you’re going to hurt me with some weak ass lightning jutsu. Show me some respect and fight me like a ninja!” She punctuated each word with a strike. You sat up quickly only to be pushed back down. “Oh you finally got some fight in you, traitor?” She repeated the name like a mantra.

She didn’t notice how you had stopped bleeding or how the energy around you began to violently fluctuate. You had become completely resigned, quiet, and silently crying. You couldn’t help but wonder if you deserved this. Perhaps you shouldn’t have tried to save someone who wasn’t your own. But he turned out to be the only one who actually cared about you, unconditionally. You knew that you could never have had a happy future in the Leaf. Your heart ached for your new friends, for Iruka’s friendship, peace between shinobi nations, and for Kabuto. The tears streamed down the side of your temples but you didn’t say a word. You could feel the energy build up within you.

You tried to warn her, but one last punch and you knew it was over. The blue aura shrunk against your skin all over your body and then, in an instant, burst. An electric wave shot out from your being. The ground cracked. The trees snapped. You saw her eyes widen as the energy shot through her chest. The kunoichi looked at you, eyes wide in fear and you knew that by the time she hit the ground that she was dead.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr @thing-winged for more Kabuto content


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